ShuAke Shrine
Honey, I'm Home!
Where it all began...
I've seen mentions of Joker here and there in the past but it wasn't until I saw him as a playable character in Sonic Racing Crossworlds that I became curious to learn more about the character and Persona as a whole.
It must have been kismet because around the same time Persona 5 Royal was availble on PlayStation Plus. I decided to give it a try and instantly loved the aesthetics of the game! The UI was unlike anything i've even seen before, so detailed just like its characters and stories. I instantly clicked with the social aspect of the game and even though I was heistant about the turn-based combat at first, I quickly began to enjoy the strategizing involved. I knew I was going to relate to Joker's character within the first few hours of playing. But I did not expect the Shuake brain worms that will soon infiltrate my mind and (punt intended) steal my heart.
One thing to know about me is:
So, with my inherent rainbow tinted glasses, for a brief moment I was leaning towards Yusuke as my imaginary shipping choice for Joker (give us LGBTQ+ romance options Atlus you cowards). But then the unexpected happened...Goro Akechi. From the moment they met and Akechi's handshake turned into handholding I was playing the game like:
After that came the deep conversations and Jazz Jin dates. I haven't played any Persona games before this (after, though, I've played Tactica, Persona 4 GOLDEN, Persona: Revelations, and plan to play the others in due time) so I didn't expect the, what some have called "obvious", twist involving Akechi. I knew he was a "threat" but assumed this sweet but misinformed detective would join the Phantom Thieves and realize their motivations are just. I was so giddy when the team up actually hapened and thought "Okay great, he'll end up befriending the Thieves and become attached to the team and call off the part of the deal where the Thieves have to disband...right?....". Well, if you've played the game (if you haven't you probably shouldn't be reading this; spoilers!) you know that I was sorely mistaken.
FIRST Akechi challenges Joker to a random duel in Momentos? Not me being excited about them spending some alone time as Phantom Thieves before I realized this is a serious duel type situation. I was racking my brain trying to figure out what kind of strange test of morals this is supposed to be? Then this guy hits Joker with "I'm going to be entirely honest with you: I hate you."
Hate???? Is that what you CALL THIS!?:
I was still trying to piece all of this together, I knew then he was the one to get Joker caught in the end but dang I didn't expect him to doom the yaoi the way he did. When he walked up to Joker with that gun I was internally screaming at Akechi, hands clapped over my mouth in shock and horror in the middle of the night trying not to wake up my sleeping partner.
This was me:
The next few in-game days felt so dark. When Joker opened up his texts I would find myself checking his texts with Akechi. This betrayal felt real. However, the Phantom Thieves carried on strong. They infiltrated Shido's palace and I had some time to process everything over some mousey hijinks:
Still, as Joker led his team through battle, stealthy sections and safe rooms I kept having this gnawing feeling...surely we'll have to confront Akechi? Will he come to his senses?? What's going on???
AND THEN IT HAPPENED.
THE ENGINE ROOM SCENE.
This is the scene that you just go back to in your mind and try to override it with pleasant AUs. Yeah no what really happened was:
Yup and then despite everything he was able to find true friendship and understanding for for the first time in his life and he was able to see his true value as a person instead of making mistake after detrimental mistake in a haze of pain and resentment. :))))
But alas,
Crying into the void because there was still time!! As if this scene didn't wreck me enough I realized after reading this Tumblr post that his black mask was starting to turn the red color of the robin hood mask....the Thieves were getting through to him!!! This is such a piviotal moment that made me care even more about Akechi's character, he wasn't who I thought he was going into this story, he was as heartbreaking as he was brilliant! I also gained even more respect and admiration for the Phantom Thieves in the way they remain compassionate in this moment even if their negative feelings towards Akechi is justified. They still reach out to him in an attempt to save him from his hopelessness and rage and it breakssss my heart. This moment really made me feel similar to how i've felt about Loki (and ya'll I was comparing the two before the Loki Persona reveal) as I scream at him in certain Marvel comics when Thor tries again and again to create the space and opportunity for Loki's redemption. I am so attached to Loki (and similarly now, Akechi) as a character but fucksakes I want them to be happy but they are their own biggest enemies and they push away the only people who truly see them and care for them and can actually give them the love they secretly so desperately need (just to clarify Thor and Loki share a purely brotherly bond and although I don't mind people who see Joker and Akechi as platonic I can't see them as anything else but soulmates through and through). I was on the edge of my seat hoping they could steal one more heart through this conversation. Honestly, I was reeling when there was no choice but to leave Akechi there and my disbelief only intensified as we once again just kept going like the mosst devestating shit didn't just go down. The damage had already been done. I was Shuake-pilled. I couldn't imagine that they would just end things there but for the longest time it seemed that I was being gaslit about whatever the heck it is these two had going on so far. Even though I somewhat
And listen, I had a little feeling in my gut when everything seemed to be wrapped up in a mooshy little "they lived happily ever after lala" ending that something was up but I also didn't question it too much because I had been so embarassingly devestated for the last few hours after this dang game kept me in a state of being flummoxed which is a word I have never used before until this moment because it seems melodramatic enough to truly convey the emotional soup P5:Royal created within my soul.
But oh goody! One of my favourite parts of the entire game is the Royal Trio. Their dynamic is unmatched and they are so precious to me. A little glimmer within a very sad messed up situation fr.
...WIP... I'm writing this in bits and pieces in between other tasks heh
